Dating in High School: Useful or a Waste of Time?

Relationships in high school are both a controversial topic and an interesting one. There are two sides to this topic.

Some argue that dating while in high school is inappropriate and detrimental to a student’s work ethic and responsibilities.

Rabbis like TABC Rabbi Jachter tend to agree with this opinion. “It’s not in the students best interest, since they are not mature enough.”

Others argue that two responsible kids can handle the emotional baggage of a relationship, while balancing the stress on high school work. Students tend to agree with this opinion.

“As long as the relationship doesn’t affect your work, it’s fine,” says Gabe Greenberg (2019). “If it does, you're not ready for a relationship on top of other responsibilities.”

Some students who attend a single sex high school like TABC, believe that interaction with the opposite sex is a necessity as preparation for the real world, where young men and womens interact all the time. But what do kids in TABC think?

“I think they [high school relationships] are positive,” says Yehuda Mirwis (2020).

However, another student, who requested anonymity, has a different view. “If relationships end the wrong way,” he says. "They can screw up people’s live and it’s very bad mentally. I’ve seen it happen.”

According to a student poll asking if relationships are detrimental to students' attitudes towards their work and responsibilities, there was an exact 50/50 split.

Parents and teachers, however, tend to have a negative attitude towards teenagers dating. There are multiple reasons for this: First, parents want to find a balance between controlling their kids' social lives and allowing them the freedom to become adults. Second, they think that teenage relationships may lead to inappropriate behavior.

According to Rabbi Einhorn, “[T]he goal of these relationships aren’t what high school kids should be doing.”

Some teachers, such as Mrs. Hoenig, perhaps more in touch with the teenage social life than some rabbis, think opposite-sex interaction is important.

“If two kids are responsible, dating is fine,” she says. "Opposite gender interaction is important because it helps social skills. These kids will be working with women later in life, so learning communication skills is important.”

When thinking about teenage relationships, an adult who never experienced a relationship at a young age, might picture two naive teens who only want to be able to say, “I have a girlfriend.” To the contrary, these relationships can have their share of positive effects.

According to an article by Yourteenmag.com, relationships add positivity to a teen's mindset making him/her happier, thus improving quality of life.

"High school couples who learn positive habits while dating," according to Yourteenmag.com, "often carry those skills into adulthood, making it easier to develop healthy, long-lasting relationships.”

Whether parents believe it or not, teenage emotions are very real. Parents will NEVER believe this, but teenage emotions can produce love. Real love.

Both views on this uncomfortable topic are reasonable, and the pattern shows that more secular opinions agree that high school relationships are fine, while Rabbis and religious parents tend to disagree. I think mature kids can handle a relationship, while those less mature cannot. Some food for thought: My brother and his girlfriend have been dating since tenth grade (4 years now), and still are, and plan to be married in the near future.