The Haircut
It was sophomore year, 2017, the last day of school. I had long hair down to my shoulders, and I knew in my heart of hearts that this might become a problem with the TABC administration. Little did I realize how soon.
That spring morning, I walked upstairs to to daven, when Rabbi Adler approached me and put me on notice: “If you want to come back in September you are going to need a haircut,” he said.
This was distressing, because my hair has always been a bit of a crutch for me, something I could hold on to, that expressed who I am. Some of my friends even gave me nicknames based on my haircut, like Goldilocks, so it felt like something important was being taken away from me. During the summer my parents worried about R’ Adler’s ultimatum, and I told them that I had already read the student handbook, and showed it to friends and family members as well. The handbook stated:
“All students are to be neatly groomed, with a haircut reflecting the dignity of a Yeshiva high school and within halachic parameters. Haircuts involving shaved or partially shaved heads and step cuts are inappropriate. A student with an inappropriate haircut will not be permitted to attend classes until the situation is rectified.”
It seemed to me that my haircut complied with the handbook, so I was slightly confused why Rabbi Adler had approached me in the first place. During the summer I was not worried because I was think of getting a haircut anyway, to trim my hair and keep it neat, just ike it asks of students to do in the handbook. A week before school began, I got a significant haircut and trimmed my hair about 1.5 inches. On the first day of school in the fall, I went to daven and Rabbi Adler approached me again. And at that moment I realized that my haircut wasn’t enough, and that I had to take more drastic action.
He told me that if I didn’t get a haircut before tomorrow, I would be suspended until I got the proper haircut. It seemed to me that Rabbi Adler didn’t acknowledge my haircut as a “real” haircut.” Then I asked him how short I had to cut it and he answered, ”like everyone else.” I obliged and got a haircut that night, that was short in the back and sides. I was permitted to attend school the next day..
After my haircut, I felt in part relieved that I was not going to be suspended. But also, I felt something was missing, that something had been taken away from me, making me feel different about myself. I also think that this was one of the occasions the handbook ix not specific enough. Based on the handbook’s parameters, I thought my hair was in compliance. Maybe I did need to tend to my hair in the mornings a bit longer, but that's not what I was told to do. I was told cut it completely. The handbook should use more specific language and gives students a more accurate view on what the school expects from them and their haircuts.
